Wednesday, August 24, 2005

10000

Nope, that is not the cost of the ticket that I would be purchasing for the Rahman show. More on that later.

My blog has registered 10000 hits. I do not even know how significant or relevant it is. I know that I clock a lot of those hits. But it is an important milestone indeed. Now, whether milestones themselves are important is a different matter.

When I started blogging, I had no clue why I was doing it. And I still have no clue.
I thought it would be a nice way to rant, and then eulogise, and then fictionalize, and now I do not know what exactly I have been trying to talk/write. But that isn’t surprising because I rarely know what I am thinking coherently. The operative word here is “coherently”. With the above piece of rubbish as introduction, let me present to you some more rubbish as a way of celebration.

Coffee Breaks? More like “self-inflicted torture”.
That is how this post would have been titled any other day. My cubee and I go through this ritual twice every day. And despite the obvious pains of torture, nothing seems to be deterring us. That speaks volumes about our resilience…or just the inexorable pull of the need for a coffee break.

So we go to the 5th floor pantry where the vending machine is situated. All the vending machines provide the same thing, but 5th floor is just a nice place to stare at all the…err…vast expanse of waste land abounding in Electronics City. Now we come to what exactly our vending machine spouts. Milk, black coffee, hot water. That is all. To supplement/complement this are tea bags, Bru coffee powder, Badam milk, Chocolate powder, Lemon tea powder. That is the situation we are faced with.

Day 1:
I pour the black coffee to the cup, and then add milk. Strange. This doesn’t look like the coffee that my mother makes. What are all those white dots everywhere? And why isn’t the coffee getting a “coffee colour”? Could the milk be bad? Yup, has to be.

Day 2:
Ok, it is not a problem with the milk. Not every coffee can come pockmarked. Even before I get to stir the concoction with full gusto, the particles set in. This encroachment is taking place faster than parks turning to slums in Madras.

Day 3:
Let me pour the milk, and then add the coffee. YES! So far so good. No white particles yet. Neatly stirred. But wait…wait…what the #$%$ is this?!! Why is there no lather? This looks like a stagnant pool of brown water.

At this point, I would like to bring to the kind notice of the reader that no mention of the taste of the coffee has yet been made. That is not even part of my agenda. I only strive to get a coffee-looking liquid.

Day 4:
I’ve given up on making coffee. Besides I appease my hurt ego by saying, “Anyway I can always have good Iyengar coffee at home, but tea is different. I shall make tea here.” Good choice Sridhar. Ok, now we have tea bags, milk, hot water, sugar; and these need to be mixed in some kind of combination to make tea.

I pour the milk, sugar into the cup. Then I dip the tea bag for 10 mins. Ok, the liquid is brownish in colour. Looks almost like tea. Taste? Yeuuuuuuuuck. Cold dishwater!

Day 5:
I guess the cold milk made the tea taste bad. Today I shall not dip for so long; just quick dips and then drink. But why the heck does the liquid look so whitish! In fact one would have to stretch his colour recognition system to the maximum to even declare that the colour is brown.

Day 6:
Someone points out the fact that the hot water is there for a reason. Ahhhh…so today I dip the bags (yes, bags. I presume that 2 tea bags would give me a higher chance of getting to tea-colour) into the hot water. Perfect. The water looks just like tea, and very strong at that. Now I add milk and sugar, and stir. Uhmmmm…well now the colour isn’t as pleasing as it was before. I begin to doubt whether the previous complexion was just a mirage. This liquid looks and tastes like my Day 4 experiment.

Day 7:
After a lot of thinking over the weekend, I decide that what is missing is the “strength” in the tea. The essence is just not enough, despite squeezing the last juice of the tea bag. So there is only one logical step to be followed after this. And I do that. I carefully prise out the staple tying the tea bag, and drop the particles inside directly into the milk. Obviously nothing can get stronger than this. Right??? WRONG!!! The damn thing tastes like Horlicks…no jokes! And what is even worse was the fact that the liquid was yellow in colour. Hello!!! Shouldn’t there be a brown colour somewhere in the mix???

Day 8:
This would be today. I have been thinking about the failed “opening tea-bag experience”. Why didn’t the particles cause the colour to appear? Duh…simple answer. Obviously the tea bags are the one responsible for the brown colour. Simple logic. (pat on the back) So that is what I plan on doing today when I go at 3 PM to celebrate my 10000th post with a coffee/tea break. I shall take the tea particles out, just dip the empty bag for a few minutes. And then I shall drink the tea-like looking liquid. I don’t think I can fail this time. Nope, not this time. I am sure…I guess.

Enjoy your break.

13 Comments:

At 9:58 PM, Blogger Rajneesh said...

Party!

 
At 11:31 PM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

Always. :)

 
At 5:57 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, how about some hot, not so sweet coffee made and served by a pretty iyer girl?

 
At 11:49 AM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

Anon:
Ahem...don't you think I run the risk of getting poisoned by accepting coffee from someone whom I do not know?

 
At 7:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You surely won't be poisoned.

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

I would be a lot more confident if you actually said that un-anonymously. :)

 
At 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why would someone poison you of all people?
Who do you think you are?
Some kinda superstar?

 
At 3:14 AM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

superstar? Hmm...to my knowledge there is just one Superstar, and I dont think he has ever been poisoned. So I fail to see the analogy. :)

 
At 1:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Jesus H. Christ!
I wasn't refering to Rajnikanth.

 
At 7:45 AM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

Oh sorry, a slight digression. Ah yes, we were talking about coffee. I concede that I ain't that great a person to be poisoned. Hmm...so how good is the coffee made by you?

 
At 11:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Taste it to believe it.

 
At 2:54 AM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

And how would that be possible?

 
At 3:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Use your top drawer.

 

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