Thursday, March 02, 2006

The T-Disc

I have an idea.
(I know that sounds a bit grandiose along the lines of “I have a dream” by Martin Luther King (ahem ahem). But just humour me…)

I have been talking about this for ages now, and have never gotten down to actually penning it. So here I go.

I have never been to a disc…which is short for disco…which is short for discotheque. I wonder what they are going to call it next…anyway, that isn’t the point here. I have been to pubs, and I know that discotheques are going to be just an extension (literally from the couches to the dance floor). And that is where I freeze. Err…freeze isn’t exactly right. Let me use Stephen King’s “give the best imitation of a flower-pot”.

I presume there are a lot more like me. If not, this entire idea would be a major flop…but I don’t think that would be the case. And it is for such people, that I shall launch the…

*start of major background music similar to Rajini’s opening scene in Muthu*

The T-Disc

*end of major background music similar to Rajini’s opening scene in Muthu*

T-Disc? What it is?

If you are the kind who jump out of your seats to Appadi Podu, and not to Abba & Boney M…
If you are the kind who think that Dire Straits is what you tell your mechanic after your 2-wheeler takes a nasty fall…
If you are the kind who look at “headbanging” as something that people outside the Mariamman koil do during the “saami vandhirchu” times…
If you are the kind who can fold the tongue, glare angrily, make swishing noises…all at the same time…
If you are the kind who can’t determine the lyrics of English songs, and find it even harder to know when a new song starts, and the old one ends…

You would love The T-Disc!

This is the land of devastating dappangoothus
This is the land of galatta gaanas
This is the land of tumultuous tamil music

You educated dog, don’t come near!
Oops…that is not the motto of my T-Disc. It is just how the subtitling of the songs would look on the plasma screen.

A typical day at The T-Disc would resemble this:
Begin the rounds with a proper Naattu Sarakku, enjoy the AC’s cool Kaathaddikidhu Kaathaddikidhu. We also promote religious worship…so you could either go to Thirupathi Ezhumalai Venkatesa, or for the more austere Yappa yappa Ayyappa. The food menu, though it might seem to be leaning towards seafood with Uppu Karuvadu and Vaala Meenu, can always be digested with a Soda Bottle Kaiyile. We have some very exotic cocktails from Goa, and we decided to dedicate the place of origin in the nomenclature as well; you could try out a Podango…or a not so popular Gummango. People who feel that there would be a substantial lesser female population needn’t worry for too long. Vaadi Vaadi Vaadi would definitely bring in the crowd, and you can all peacefully Sight Adippom.

The Happy Hours would obviously be dedicated to playing songs of the one and only Super Star.

And more importantly, you would have never to face such situations –
Bouncer: Sir, you have to pay the cover charges.
Customer: cover-a? What cover??? Aavin or Arogya?
Bouncer: Not paal-cover sir. But…

Customer: Nonsense! T-Disc me going. Fun having. Varttaaaan…

All this and more…only at The T-Disc.
Coming soon…


At 9:56 PM, Blogger Avinash said...

Dude, if you remember Hitesh's marriage, we are not comfortable dancing to any kind of music. No arguments about - because it was not Rajini's or Rahman's. :-)

At 10:35 PM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

Ahem must have seen me at God's concert. A whole different tale. :)

At 1:32 PM, Blogger Randhir said...

Some of your lines seem inspired from "A Night at the Roxbury" with Will Ferrell and Chris Kattan having this brainwave of transforming the outside of a disc to look like the inside with couches and music and liquour and make the inside look like the outside with Stop signs and pavements and roads.

Or maybe it was the other way round ... the movie inspired by your blog ... ;-)

At 11:44 PM, Blogger Sridhar Raman said...

Hebbar, I hadn't even heard of the movie.'s not the first time such "stealing of my ideas" is happening. Will come up with complete list sometime soon.


At 8:44 PM, Blogger Randhir said...

No surprise!!! But am sure the director of the movie would have heard about you!!! ;-)

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Anushya said...

tumultuous tamil music...hmmm...the first song that comes to mind when you say that is althota bhupathi or O podu!!!

At 5:27 AM, Blogger pophabhi said...

Must be one of the most exciting ideas that hit bangalore for a long time!! Too good, Chilli!! :)


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